Creating Grief Mandalas – Mandala Healing

What is a Grief Mandala Ritual?

Creating Grief Mandalas is a soothing ritual that allows you to express feelings when grief hits you. As Death Doula, Sarah Kerr says, in the same way as a river bank guides the flow of water, grief rituals create a structure to allow the grief to flow at a pace you can handle.

Natural materials used to create mandalas are temporary, as is life. These materials will fade, they may feel the heat of the sun or be drenched by rain and the wind may move them. And that’s part of the grief ritual. The intention of the ritual will remain with you always, while the materials used will remain throughout the days after the ritual, eventually returning to nature.

I conducted a Grief Mandala Ritual for my dear little Mum, who died in December 2019, creating Grief Mandalas on a beach that she loved to visit with me and my children.

How to Create a Grief Mandala

Go outside, take your time, connect with nature.

Pick up leaves, stones, berries, twigs, flowers, petals and other natural materials that you are drawn to. Place them all in a basket or other container for a short while, so that each item forms a connection with the others.

A traditional mandala is a square containing a circle and the pattern inside of the circle is symmetrical and balanced. A Grief Mandala has no pre-set pattern inside of it. Close your eyes and remember the person you are grieving. A pattern will emerge.

The Grief Mandala Ritual

Find a space where you can create a circle – the size of the circle will be of your choosing.

Stand still and quietly observe the blank space. Breathe. This is your ritual space and you are now opening your ritual. Think about the person for whom you are creating this mandala.

Place an item from your basket or container on the ground, this will form the centre of your mandala. As you place it down, repeat the following– this can be done silently, or out loud:

My heart is broken yet there is joy – the joy of you.

Place sticks, twigs or other material to form a bigger circle around the centre piece – leave space to fill the circle with other material that will form the pattern (in this way you are forming the ‘river bank’. Repeat the following as you do this:

I celebrate the place you had in my life

Place leaves or similar in the mandala you are creating. Repeat the following as you do this:

I celebrate the truth you taught me.

Place more leaves or similar in lines in the mandala. Repeat:

I celebrate the growth you enabled in me.

Place flowers or leaves in the mandala. Repeat:

I celebrate the colour you brought into my life.

Place flowers or leaves in the mandala. Repeat:

I celebrate the love you brought into my life.

Place flowers or leaves in the mandala. Repeat:

I celebrate you,every blessed minute I shared with you.

Place flowers or leaves in the mandala. Repeat:

I allow myself to feel this love and this grief; to treat myself with compassion; to keep all memories of you close in my heart.

Place a significant item in the middle of the mandala. Repeat:

As this circle has no end, neither shall my love for you.

Closing your Grief Mandala Ritual

Remove yourself from the liminal (transitional) space you have created through this ritual – step back from the mandala.

Close this ritual by thanking nature for providing you with the resources to connect with your loved one through the mandala, and the opportunity to express thanks to them.

Take a few moments, breathe, take in the experience that you have just been through, the meaning of the mandala you have created and the feelings that have been generated.

Take time afterwards – self-care after a ritual is important so walk in a place that you love, hug a loved one, cry, write. Release.

If you would like to talk more about creating Grief Mandalas or celebrating your loved ones, please get in touch.